6 ways to build rapport and develop meaningful relationships
Summary
Everyone wants a positive relationship with the people they work with. But building a healthy level of camaraderie, rapport, and comfortable conversations takes effort.
Sometimes, it seems like people are just born with this skill. And it’s true that some people are naturally good at building rapport. But even if you struggle with small talk and aren’t skilled at building relationships, you can still develop rapport. Like any soft skill, it’s one you can learn to master. Here’s how to get started.
What is rapport in the workplace?
Rapport is the foundation of a meaningful relationship between two people. When you’re good at building rapport, you’re practiced at establishing a connection between yourself and someone else. Good rapport can make the other person feel respected, heard, and seen. It’s a great way to understand another person’s needs and support them.
Building rapport is about driving a meaningful connection between you and another person. It isn’t enough to feign interest—instead, practice openness and honesty in order to establish mutual trust.
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Benefits of building rapport in the workplace
Build mutual trust
Make team members feel more engaged
Improve constructive feedback sessions
Boost team loyalty
Build good group dynamics
Feel more “in sync” with the other person
Who should build workplace rapport?
Building rapport helps you quickly establish great relationships, regardless of your position at your company. Rapport is the foundation of great workplace relationships because it facilitates collaboration, unlocks mutual trust, and enhances your communication skills.
While rapport building is a good skill for any team member, it’s particularly important for customer-facing roles and team members in leadership positions.
Building rapport with your customers
As a salesperson, it’s critical to build rapport with your customers. In order to effectively sell to customers, you must understand their needs and wants. When you build rapport as a salesperson, you’re focusing on genuinely understanding the customer’s needs so you can effectively support them. Keep in mind that building rapport with customers is about developing a long-term relationship, so avoid using this technique as a quick way to land a deal.
Building rapport with your clients
Once a customer becomes a client, it is still important to continue building rapport so you understand their needs—especially as those needs change. Rapport helps you understand how your customers are using your products and services.
For example, imagine a customer you’ve been working with for a while tells you they’re going to cancel your service. If you have rapport built up with them, you can work to understand where this churn risk is coming from and what you can do to support them. That could mean reducing the number of seats they’ve purchased or helping them downgrade to a lower tier of service, instead of churning completely.
Building rapport with your direct reports
To be the best manager possible, you also need to build rapport with your direct reports. That way, you can understand their goals in order to best support them—not just in the day to day, but also as their career progresses.
Building rapport with your coworkers and team members
You should also take time to build rapport with your coworkers and team members. Closeness with team members prevents burnout and impostor syndrome. It makes the workplace more enjoyable for you—and for them.
The Impact Playbook: Motivating employees in a fast-changing world
Boost motivation by helping your employees understand why their work matters. In this free ebook, learn how to create a shared sense of purpose on your team.
6 ways to build rapport and break the ice
Attempting to build rapport can feel intimidating, especially if you aren’t someone who loves small talk. But part of building rapport is playing to your strengths and using your personality to forge a true connection.
1. First, understand yourself
The first thing to do, before you even begin a conversation, is to focus on yourself. Building rapport isn’t about faking it. You don’t have to be the most outgoing or extroverted person in order to build this skill. Anyone can build rapport, regardless of your communication skills.
By identifying your strengths and weaknesses, you can effectively use them during future conversations. For example, say you don’t think you’re very good at small talk. That’s okay! Instead of engaging in small talk, try to engage new acquaintances with deeper conversations. Ask them about their pets, or their work history. These are still simple questions, but they go beyond the surface and help you begin to understand your team members on a deeper level.
Alternatively, if you’re introverted, you might get tired at networking events or crowded situations. That’s fine, too. Prioritize 1:1s, coffee conversations, or even short watercooler chats with an individual. Lean into your strengths instead of forcing yourself to attend networking event after networking event.
2. Practice active listening
Listening plays a key role in building rapport. Active listening, or listening to understand, is the practice of focusing on what the other person is saying—instead of thinking about what you're going to say next.
Active listening is a great way to build meaningful connections and invest in deeper conversations. When you’re paying full attention to the other person, instead of thinking about your own thoughts, you’re more invested in what they have to say. Listening helps you understand them better and makes them feel more comfortable and heard around you.
Read: Listening to understand: How to practice active listening (with examples)3. Use positive body language
Almost equally important to how you listen is how you look while you’re listening. Even if you’re paying attention, distracted or disinterested nonverbal communication can unintentionally put people off. During a conversation, check in with your facial expressions and body language. Are your arms crossed? Are you making eye contact? These small things make a big difference.
In particular, make sure to:
Nod along
Make encouraging sounds and gestures
Smile
Make eye contact
4. Look for commonalities
One of the easiest ways to build rapport is to look for similarities between you and someone else. Do you have any shared interests? A similar past? Oftentimes, it’s much easier to forge a connection with someone when you have something in common. You can use that common ground as a jumping-off point for a deeper conversation.
You can often do this by paying attention to the other person. For example, you might notice a coworker wearing a sweatshirt from their college or displaying a picture of their kids on their desk. Maybe you heard they have a similar work history to you, or you both love cats. Find something in common with that person to build a deeper connection.
5. Grow your empathy
Even if you don’t have a lot in common with the other person, use empathy and curiosity to build rapport. Part of this is focusing on the other person’s needs, and how you can help them.
For example, is the other person new to the office? Maybe they need a friend. Did they have a bad day at work? Ask them if they want to grab coffee and chat, if you think that would help. Remember, building rapport is about making a connection with another person, and you can do this effectively by tapping into your emotional intelligence.
Read: 19 unconscious biases to overcome and help promote inclusivity6. Ask open-ended questions
If you can’t find anything in common, use open-ended questions to allow the other person to share their passions. Open-ended questions prompt the other person to share more about their past. You can use open-ended questions for any topic. For example, instead of asking “How long have you been working in marketing?”, which has a one-sentence answer, try “How did you get started with marketing?” You’re asking about the same thing, but prompting the person to share more about their past.
For more open-ended question ideas, read our article on 110+ icebreaker questions for team building.
How to build rapport in 4 steps
Building rapport goes beyond using specific techniques; it’s about applying higher-level concepts that strengthen your interpersonal skills in both personal and professional settings.
Let’s explore the broader principles that will help you form and maintain meaningful connections over time.
Step 1: Build trust to establish rapport
At the core of any successful relationship is mutual trust. You can build trust by demonstrating self-awareness—understanding how your words and actions affect others and adjusting them as needed.
This reliability helps foster good rapport in both your personal life and professional interactions, where trust is often the key to establishing meaningful connections.
Step 2: Use emotional intelligence to understand others
Emotional intelligence (EI) is your ability to recognize and respond to emotions, both in yourself and others. It requires you to pay attention not just to words but also to non-verbal cues like tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language.
By doing this, you demonstrate strong interpersonal skills that allow you to build deeper connections. A high level of EI will help you manage challenging relationships and find ways to connect, even with difficult personalities.
Step 3: Adapt your approach to fit different situations
Adapting your communication style based on the situation is key to building rapport across a variety of contexts. In both professional and personal life, you’ll encounter different types of people. Flexibility shows that you’re attuned to their unique point of view.
For instance, the way you build rapport with colleagues might be different than how you establish it with friends or family, but the underlying principle of flexibility remains.
Step 4: Show consistency to maintain rapport over time
Consistency is essential in building lasting rapport. Regular interactions, whether it’s a casual check-in or following up on a task, help reinforce the trust you’ve built.
For professionals, staying engaged with colleagues on LinkedIn or networking for referrals are ways to maintain and deepen relationships over time.
In your personal life, consistency shows people you value the relationship. This makes building good work-life relationships easier.
Rapport building examples
Here’s a practical example of how to build rapport with a difficult colleague or boss, broken down into actionable steps.
You’ve started working with a colleague who is known for being difficult to approach. In your first meeting, they seem disengaged, making little eye contact and coming across as frustrated.
Stay self-aware. Notice their body language and adjust your own reactions to stay open and calm.
Pay attention to nonverbal cues. Focus on their tone of voice, facial expressions, and mannerisms. Use positive non-verbal communication to show you’re listening.
Ask open-ended questions. Show genuine curiosity by asking questions that help you understand their point of view and concerns.
Find common ground. Look for shared interests or goals to create a connection and soften their defensiveness.
Be consistent. Follow through on your commitments to build mutual trust over time.
By applying these steps, you’ll gradually improve the working relationship and create a more collaborative environment.
Build great rapport to develop meaningful working relationships
Good rapport improves your working relationships and makes you a better communicator. But like most soft skills, building rapport is an ongoing process. Think of this less like a skill to check off a list and more like a set of mannerisms and practices you can build over time.
The Impact Playbook: Motivating employees in a fast-changing world
Boost motivation by helping your employees understand why their work matters. In this free ebook, learn how to create a shared sense of purpose on your team.
FAQ: Building rapport
What does building rapport mean?
Building rapport means creating a connection with someone that’s based on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. It’s the ability to establish a comfortable, harmonious relationship where both people feel understood and valued.
Whether in personal relationships or professional settings, good rapport helps facilitate effective communication and lays the groundwork for meaningful connections.
Strong rapport building often includes a blend of verbal and nonverbal communication, such as body language, tone of voice, and eye contact, to make the other person feel at ease.
What are the four principles of rapport building?
The four principles of rapport building revolve around creating mutual understanding and trust. They include:
Active listening: Truly paying attention to what the other person is saying and responding thoughtfully.
Nonverbal communication: Using body language, facial expressions, and non-verbal cues like eye contact to show engagement.
Common ground: Finding shared interests or experiences to build a connection.
Genuine interest: Demonstrating authentic curiosity about the other person’s point of view and experiences.
These principles foster mutual trust and help create a strong relationship that feels authentic and supportive.
How do you establish rapport?
To establish rapport, start by showing genuine curiosity in the other person. Begin with small talk to break the ice and look for shared interests or common ground. Pay close attention to nonverbal communication, such as facial expressions and mannerisms, to better understand how the other person is feeling.
Asking open-ended questions encourages deeper conversations and demonstrates that you’re actively listening. By combining effective communication with empathy and emotional intelligence, you’ll quickly build mutual trust and lay the foundation for a strong relationship.
How do you build rapport with colleagues?
Building rapport with colleagues in a professional setting involves a mix of strong communication skills and emotional awareness. Start by being approachable and taking time for small talk to find common ground with your coworkers.
Practice active listening in meetings and one-on-one conversations, giving your full attention to their concerns or ideas.
Make sure to use positive body language, maintain eye contact, and avoid interrupting. Showing a genuine interest in their perspective and asking thoughtful follow-up questions fosters mutual understanding and builds good rapport.
Over time, these actions will help you cultivate a more collaborative, trusting environment in your team.
